Day 120 - Cleanliness is Godliness

Jigsaw Art

August 5th, 2015

Wake up. Pancakes. Again. Add berries for variety. 

I decide to collect all my things and pack them into my suitcases to make sure it'll all fit and that I have it all organized, living off as little as possible. I know I'm not leaving for another 5 days, but it’s causing me a little anxiety to not be ready or sure that I’m within the weight limit. I guess it’ll just force me to toss some things. Collecting all the stuff triggered a cleaning mode for me.

For years of living on my own, I would let my place degrade until it was a dump, then go on a cleaning rampage. Something would snap and I’d clean everything until it was perfectly clean… then coast until it was a dump again. This stopped slowly over time, but wasn't consciously changed until I read that people who have cleaner environments are actually more productive. Altering nothing but the environment affected how much the person felt like working. Why is work important? Because sitting around being hedonistic doesn't actually make me feel good. As much as the fleeting pleasure seems nice before and during, I usually felt like it didn’t do me much good, or possibly hurt me, afterward. Work gives us purpose.

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I think it was George Bernard Shaw who said “A working definition of hell is an eternal vacation.” This is to say, sitting around, relaxing all the time is bullshit and not something we should aim for. Through books like Ryan Holiday’s The Obstacle is the Way, Tim Ferriss’ 4 hour work week, or Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art, I've come to realize that the standard model of careers is complete garbage. For me, at least.

"Hey, Let's go grab a coffee at the car wash!"

Why would I want to trade my most productive, healthy, mobile, unattached years working for someone else’s dream? Why would I save all my free time up for the very end of this marathon grind just to stockpile it all for the end? Wouldn't it be better to take, say, a month or two a year to go around and do what you want in between spurts of intense work? This system needs to be reworked, and I need to figure out a way for me to do it on a personal level. Keep dreaming I can hear some people responding, but I know what I'm describing isn't an impossibility. Just needs some unique thinking.

Health insurance figured out: they'll cover any doctors visits or expenses I had for symptoms that began since I left the country! Hurrah, that means all the visits so far and medications should be covered! I won’t get the money back until they get the physical, original copy… which could be until after the next time I'm in Canada.

This is how I look watching Steven Universe.
"I hate Steven," Shimou says

Back to the gym! Oh god, yes. So good to finally be back, it does wonders for my self-esteem. Sitting around eating whatever I can force myself to eat, and not moving combine for a terrible self-view. While some people listen to pumping music while working out, I've got podcasts and audiobooks. I mentioned The Object is the Way up there, but I'm actually only halfway through it. It's kind of like a book of meditations based off another book of meditations (Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations). I've been told to look at good ol’ Marcus, but I haven't gotten around to it. Soon.

Back home, I look up the plane tickets to see how much they'll cost. I hear that the cheapest to buy tickets is over 2-3 months before, or within 3 days of departure. I can see the logic: most people will book within a couple months before because their plans won't be solid until then; only a small group will be so far ahead as to plan months in advance. If they don’t fill the seats within the last 3 days, they are then worth a big round hoop. Seeing as it’s still 5 days away and the price is between 250-300, let’s roll the dice!

Editing Music: Indie/Indie-Folk Compilation